I've been wanting to get my 'statement out" This might be
a start.
After 30+years marriage to someone I thought was just mean,
verbally abusive, and all the time drank.
We moved from place to place and inbetween, homeless a few
times.
Couldn't keep a job longer than 2years. I stood by my man! No
matter where we ended up. Mostly my choice, not his.
So much anger and hurt with me, 2 sons always thought we
weren't ever good enough. Told this on every occuation He had.
After much soul searching, I truly loved this man.
Back in BabyBoomer times, we never heard or thought of PTSD.
I continue to see a person that, not only had so many issues, wouldn't share .
We went through life like that too, VA was no where to be found for help.
ReplyDeleteWell, Agent Orange got him. The battle is over.
ReplyDeleteHe is at rest and peace. Last week, it took his
heart, but also took mine and left alot of pain.
It's now not even a year, since he died. I have had just as much stress as before. Both sons blame me. No home, VA took it back without even attempting to help me with the laws of and for Iraq and Afghanistan.
DeleteNow mind you, husband dies, lose home, sons take my pets and give them away. Them stating "wish it was you instead of dad". This has hurt so much. I never once thru their lives was anything but a loving mother.
Not quite a year yet, 01/18/2012, the day he died. Two heart attacks, homeless, at times I feel like it should have been me. God would have had mercy for me at least I thought. Had to suffer all thru 30 yrs of marriage, drinking, attempting suicide, blaming me for it all. No escape even after death. I am trying to get through each day, until I can go home to Florida. A change of view, may help. the shrinks labeled it as BIPOLAR. Why I don't know. Reasons for mood changes is a life time of PTSD. OH and finding out while with a claims agent, he had put on all paper work, he was 'single'. Claims and Attorney says, as long as I have marriage certificate, someday I'll get compensated. To me, someday is far away. I've lost everything that ever meant something to me. Money can't replace feeling of hurt and pain.